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Lost control in a tough situation? Try reframing

Feel more in control by focusing on your experience during difficult situations

At one of our recent LeanIn group meetings, we explored the ways in which we can feel better prepared for challenging situations.


One thing really stood out to me “You may not get the outcome that you want, but you can still have the experience that you want”.


I find this particularly powerful, I think that we often put so much pressure on ourselves to try and ensure that things go just the way that we want, but of course, that cannot always be the case, which leads to feeling disappointed or like we are failing. It’s during these difficult interactions that we may lose control, react inappropriately or feel out of our depth.


Joanna Barsh talks about the importance of framing difficult situations, when we feel upset or challenged, and that if we can learn to pause, consider what outcomes we want, and adapt to get the most out of a situation, we are likely to feel much more comfortable with the experience.


So instead of feeling a failure, because I haven’t persuaded someone to my way of thinking, I focus on keeping my cool and feeling like I have put my point across calmly and logically. That’s an experience that I can control, rather than an outcome that I can’t.


Focusing on the things that we can control, understanding what we really want, can help to give us control over our behaviour and get the experience that we want.


If you’re interested in joining one of our LeanIn Circles or you’d like to talk to us about what we do, get in touch.

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